Everyone faces negativity sometimes. You cannot live on planet earth without it affecting you. There are people who just don’t seem supportive. Some seem to go against whatever excites you. Others seem to just have grey matter all around them. Like, the glass is always half empty. And sometimes, in spite of our good mood, we simply get hit with aggressive comments or unforeseen drama. In order to handle these negative comments and attitudes, we must understand where negativity comes from. What’s the real message they’re trying to say? Most negativity is not about you at all! It’s about the other person. Understanding that person allows you to express empathy. This may help them understand your true feelings too.
Why the Negativity?
First off, you gotta understand that people act negatively because they love you. It may be tough to grasp, but it’s true. If someone in your life is being negative towards you, even if it’s someone in your immediate family, they’re doing so because they love you. They love how their relationship with you stands at that moment. People are negative or un-supportive because they fear change. I know you’re the one making the changes, but your relationship with that person may be altered due to your life change, and that scares them. Any change is a threat. It affects what’s comfortable and familiar. So of course someone is upset that you’re giving up Friday drinks for the gym! They don’t want their relationship with you to change.
Two Types of People
When it comes to the types of people that are showing you negativity, they’re probably people that you hold closest. Maybe it’s your mother, or a best friend, or even your spouse. And they probably fall into one of two categories: they’re overprotective people, or they’re protective people.
Overprotective people are those that love you so much that they can’t stand it when you fail, feel pain, or are unhappy. These loved ones don’t want to see you struggle. So because of that, they act un-supportive. You see, while they want you to be your best self, they also don’t want to see you go through hard times. We know this isn’t realistic, and that there’s struggle before growth, but they love you. And that can get in the way.
Protective people are those that you consider to be rational and reasonable. These are people who have been there for you, and have even gone through the same changes you’re looking to undergo. These people are questioning your motives because they want you to examine every angle before you attempt the change. Excited people don’t always see the negative sides to the thing they’re excited about. Instead of being defensive with this person, listen to what they say and weigh the pros and cons.
No matter how your friend or relative is acting towards you, show them empathy. Letting them know that you care about them, love them, and think they’re important will help reassure them that the things you’re excited about won’t take you away from them. Let them know that the changes will only strengthen your relationship. Make them feel amazing so they’ll want to change with you.